Some Things Are Better In Person

Take for instance, my new pair of shoes. Here is a list of their attributes:

And here they are in person:

Am I Right? Or have I lost my damn mind? It may be a bit of a close call.

But really, I love them. Well, I think I do. But, I’m as nervous to wear them as I was to wear capri pants in the 7th grade. As I should have been because every boy in my grade asked “where are the rest of your pants?” Clever. And considering I would [and did] dress up as the Golf Pro if attending a “Golf Pro and Tennis Hoes” Party (*in college, which I wouldn’t, but I may have…) this is actually the kind of attention I was probably okay with from a 7th grade boy anyway.

I diverge. You see, the thing is, I love a showstopper. I’m a normal gal, we all do.

But, on the reg, I just never seem to be able to resist the draw to a white button down, a stripe, or pretty much anything blush. And I don’t mean millennial pink. I liked blush before.

If you look at my mom or my sister’s closet, it is a pattern explosion, full of showstoppers. But I tend to buy a lot of basics and solids. And this generally feels responsible and appropriate for my day-to-day, but every now and then I get this urge to spice things up. Often inspired by a combination of trying to be on a budget and, well, boredom. Enter Online Shopping and Hello Questionable Choices.

@mytherapistsays

Now, these lovely metallic Tevas are a result of one of those killer combos. P.S. they are not the only result, but they are easily the most off the reservation. I was coming out of a mild flu. Strong enough to keep me in bed for 2 days and from eating for 3. But not strong enough to keep me from feeling fabulous after. Sleeping in my bed for a full 8 is so rare that a full 2 days might as well register as a jaunt to the Caribbean at this point. And anything that can curb my appetite has my sincerest gratitude as well. However, my mental faculties = not trustworthy.

Add to that, it was freezing those first days of 2018 and so inside, in sweats we stayed. I also missed my hair appointment while I was sick, so I’m a full on grey-mare. Still am. Some people do dry-January. I’m choosing to do grey-January. All this to say, I really needed a little spice in my life. So of course, Instagram robots read my brain waves and provided me with a new character to follow and her name is Trinny Woodall.

Trinny is energetic and spirited with fab hair and fab fashion finds too. She also has a makeup line that, don’t worry, I also got sucked into. After watching God knows how many of her Instagram videos I found myself really wanting a platform shoe. She is obsessed with “brogues” and always has them on in her videos. Some are Prada, some are Stella, and then some are Zara and H&M. Naturally, I scoured the latter 2 options looking to see if I really thought I could wear something like that. Negatory. Mental faculties: check.

Then thought… “where else might I find a shoe affordable enough to justify being completely trendy and potentially too scary to actually wear?” And found myself looking on Aldo finding tons of non-scary options before arriving at the perfect one: this here Teva. My late grandmother would be both appalled and proud at the same time. Proud because she wore Tevas forever- what was the point of stopping? Appalled by everything else about them.

Showstoppers, they are not technically. But I will not argue with the resurrecting power of a shoe, particularly one inspired by a Brit and so as a result makes you feel all the feels that you didn’t know you could feel anymore after the year 2000. Namely:

That is right folks…

Because “Spicing up your life” probably isn’t that different from melting your mallow really.